Screen time when the evenings draw in

Every year around the end of September it happens again: it is dusky by six, the garden or the playground drops off the list, and the stretch between school or daycare and dinner is suddenly spent indoors. For a lot of families that means more screen time than in summer. That need not be a problem, as long as the screen gets a place in the day rather than taking the day over.

Here are a few things that tend to help.

Agree on when, not just how long

“Half an hour” is not a unit a toddler can feel. “After dinner, until the dishes are done” or “two episodes and then teeth” is. A fixed moment makes the screen predictable, and predictable is easier to switch off. It helps if the moment is roughly the same every day, so there is nothing to renegotiate each evening.

Choose something that ends

A lot of children's video is built never to finish: the next one starts before anyone notices. Prefer shows with short, self-contained episodes, so there is a natural point to stop.

• Sesame Street has been making short, clear pieces for young children for decades, and a piece that ends makes “one more” an honest promise.
• Curious George follows one small problem to its solution, and then it is over.
• Bedtime stories for kids are stories with a beginning and an end, which makes them a good last thing.

Wind down towards bedtime

The last thing a child sees before sleep makes a difference. Loud, bright and fast is fine in the morning, but not at half past six. Miffy is about the calmest thing we carry: flat colours, a slow pace, and nobody shouting. One or two short episodes are usually enough.

A simple order many parents use: something cheerful first, then something quiet, then off. The quiet part works as a bridge, so switching off feels less like a sudden stop.

Watch along, even briefly

You do not need to sit on the sofa for every episode. But a few minutes of watching along goes a long way: you know what it is about, you can ask about it later (“What went wrong for George?”), and you can see for yourself whether something is too busy or too scary. Children like to retell what they saw, and that makes the screen a little less solitary.

Let them choose from a few

A whole site full of choice is too much for a three-year-old. Set out a few favourites and let them pick from those. With an account you can keep videos in your favorites, so the list they choose from stays short. Recently watched shows what has been on lately, and how it works explains exactly what we keep for that and what we do not.

Outside is still best

The short autumn light is also a reason to use it while it lasts. Fifteen minutes outside after school, collecting leaves, jumping in puddles: afterwards there is less need for a screen anyway. The screen is then what it should be: something for when it is dark, not a replacement for everything else.

Finally: there is no perfect amount. What counts is that it fits your day, that you know what is on, and that switching off does not have to be a fight.